Where did it start?
Breanna Choma
I went through most of my school experience as a bullied kid, and developed an eating disorder called Binge at an early age and struggled with it for many years. I had very little friends, people constantly stole my things, shoved me in the halls, and called me awful names every day. I couldn't walk down the hallways, or change for gym without the fear of judgment and began to hate doing things I use to love to do. Soon I even became afraid to raise my hand in class and had a hard time doing simple things like making eye contact and carrying out conversations. I remember waking up and being afraid to go to school and how eventually I became afraid to even talk to people; I began to develop social anxiety. I had always been a very people oriented person by nature and I am quite sure that made dealing with bullying much harder than it would have otherwise been. My family reported the bullying to the schools on multiple occasions and school after school not once was anything ever done.
I was bullied for a total of eight years before I finally left to home school, and I barely made it through the year. My family has never been very outgoing so I didn't have much social interaction, and the one friend I did have I only got to see about every second weekend. I found myself becoming very depressed due to the lack of people around me, and nearly failed my grade eight year due to having to learn everything completely on my own. I went from a student who got 80's to a student who barely got 50's. For my entire year of homeschooling people who had tormented me my whole life Facebook-ed me telling me how much they missed me and then later those same people would message me being just as awful to me as they had been in the beginning. Everyday I struggled to try and understand why all of this had happened to me, and as the depression worsened I began to have suicidal thoughts.
After my grade eight year I made the decision to go back to public school, but this time outside of the Rocky School system. The fears I had when in Rocky followed me there, and when someone would say hi I would start analyzing them trying to figure out if they were just setting me up to bring me down. I waited and waited every day for 2 weeks to hear a name thrown at me, but it never happened. On my first day I had made more friends than I had ever had in Rocky, and the fact that it was real, the fact that it was possible for me to go a whole day without being called 'fat' or 'ugly,' was and still is the hardest thing I have ever had to accept. I will never forget how I felt when I walked out of the school on my first day, and how hard I cried when I got into the car. September 6th 2012 was the first time I had ever cried of happiness.
Yes it is true I am no longer in the Rocky school system and I am better now, but better doesn't mean cured. To this day I still suffer with social anxiety, I am still insecure about my body, I still have trust issues, and I still resent those who stood by and didn't attempt to do a thing. I still see people everyday in stores and on the streets who caused me pain, and I look them in the eye and swallow my pride when they give me a phony smile and tell me how happy they are to see me. My experience with bullying was bad, but I wasn’t the only one. I watched my friends cut, attempt suicide, become satanists, turn to drugs and alcohol, and develop eating disorders, and what's more is that I stood there helplessly as I watched people who had the power to stop it stand and not do a thing to help.
Bullying is still happening right here in our little community, and people are still standing by. No one should have to go through bullying but it happens, and while transferring schools was one of the most positive experiences of my life, it shouldn't have to become the only option. Not only is it not fair to be forced out of your school, but its also not right! When you go to school with a group of people for 8 years they should become your friends and allies, not the people that make you afraid to leave your house. After going through what I had gone through and seeing what others had been through (and are still going through), I couldn't and won't stand by. After some serious emotional healing I decided to pick up the pieces, put myself back together, and be strong for those who can't be strong for themselves. I sat down and made a Facebook page thinking I might help and maybe even inspire 20 or so people, but as the days went on it grew and before I knew it we were more than a Facebook page. I got my best friend on board and later another good friend, and together the three of us started what I hope will be the difference; Stop The Madness Universal.
~Breanna Choma~
YYC Executive Director and Founder of
Stop The Madness Universal
I went through most of my school experience as a bullied kid, and developed an eating disorder called Binge at an early age and struggled with it for many years. I had very little friends, people constantly stole my things, shoved me in the halls, and called me awful names every day. I couldn't walk down the hallways, or change for gym without the fear of judgment and began to hate doing things I use to love to do. Soon I even became afraid to raise my hand in class and had a hard time doing simple things like making eye contact and carrying out conversations. I remember waking up and being afraid to go to school and how eventually I became afraid to even talk to people; I began to develop social anxiety. I had always been a very people oriented person by nature and I am quite sure that made dealing with bullying much harder than it would have otherwise been. My family reported the bullying to the schools on multiple occasions and school after school not once was anything ever done.
I was bullied for a total of eight years before I finally left to home school, and I barely made it through the year. My family has never been very outgoing so I didn't have much social interaction, and the one friend I did have I only got to see about every second weekend. I found myself becoming very depressed due to the lack of people around me, and nearly failed my grade eight year due to having to learn everything completely on my own. I went from a student who got 80's to a student who barely got 50's. For my entire year of homeschooling people who had tormented me my whole life Facebook-ed me telling me how much they missed me and then later those same people would message me being just as awful to me as they had been in the beginning. Everyday I struggled to try and understand why all of this had happened to me, and as the depression worsened I began to have suicidal thoughts.
After my grade eight year I made the decision to go back to public school, but this time outside of the Rocky School system. The fears I had when in Rocky followed me there, and when someone would say hi I would start analyzing them trying to figure out if they were just setting me up to bring me down. I waited and waited every day for 2 weeks to hear a name thrown at me, but it never happened. On my first day I had made more friends than I had ever had in Rocky, and the fact that it was real, the fact that it was possible for me to go a whole day without being called 'fat' or 'ugly,' was and still is the hardest thing I have ever had to accept. I will never forget how I felt when I walked out of the school on my first day, and how hard I cried when I got into the car. September 6th 2012 was the first time I had ever cried of happiness.
Yes it is true I am no longer in the Rocky school system and I am better now, but better doesn't mean cured. To this day I still suffer with social anxiety, I am still insecure about my body, I still have trust issues, and I still resent those who stood by and didn't attempt to do a thing. I still see people everyday in stores and on the streets who caused me pain, and I look them in the eye and swallow my pride when they give me a phony smile and tell me how happy they are to see me. My experience with bullying was bad, but I wasn’t the only one. I watched my friends cut, attempt suicide, become satanists, turn to drugs and alcohol, and develop eating disorders, and what's more is that I stood there helplessly as I watched people who had the power to stop it stand and not do a thing to help.
Bullying is still happening right here in our little community, and people are still standing by. No one should have to go through bullying but it happens, and while transferring schools was one of the most positive experiences of my life, it shouldn't have to become the only option. Not only is it not fair to be forced out of your school, but its also not right! When you go to school with a group of people for 8 years they should become your friends and allies, not the people that make you afraid to leave your house. After going through what I had gone through and seeing what others had been through (and are still going through), I couldn't and won't stand by. After some serious emotional healing I decided to pick up the pieces, put myself back together, and be strong for those who can't be strong for themselves. I sat down and made a Facebook page thinking I might help and maybe even inspire 20 or so people, but as the days went on it grew and before I knew it we were more than a Facebook page. I got my best friend on board and later another good friend, and together the three of us started what I hope will be the difference; Stop The Madness Universal.
~Breanna Choma~
YYC Executive Director and Founder of
Stop The Madness Universal
Lou Parks
I remember walking down the halls of the school and having nasty names yelled at me. Every day this happened and every time I went home I wished I were dead. I wished that I never lived in rocky and that this never happened, but it did. It first started with me crying myself to sleep and waking up crying. It became almost a ritual for me to cry like that, but as time went on it grew away from crying into other things.
I was a peaceful girl all through grade 1 to grade 6. In grade 7 is where it all started to really change me. I became bitter, cold, negative and hostile. About three weeks into grade 7 I was flashed by a boy in my grade behind the school. The boy and his 3 friends then blackmailed for money; they wanted 20 bucks each or they would spread a rumor.The kid who flashed me got a three day In school suspension, but the kids that dared him to do it never did get any punishment. The other kids at school where wondering why the boy got an in school, and once they knew what happen it spread like wild fire. I didn't even need the blackmail for it all to begin; it started all by itself. The worst part of it was how blind the teachers were even after it spread and how they acted as though nothing had happened.
When I came in the next day after the boy had flashed me it was literally hell. Kids packed the hall wall and when they seen me coming they turned into nasty people; I got sexually harassed and instead of help I got called the worst of names. When you're going through the hallway you could hear the names. Could you live with being called degrading names every day? I couldn't, not every day... Everything really took a turn when I was too scared to tell people and started to self-harm. My first time was on a bus; I used a paperclip I had in my bag. From that paper clip I began to get addicted to the numbing feeling I got. It got bad and I would use whatever I could find, but soon those objects weren't giving me the numbing feeling I needed and I began using razor blades. I would take apart a razor and have five or six of them on. I'd have them in my pocket and when i needed to, I would go to the bathroom and cut. it's because of bullying that I know how it feels to have blood run down my arms, and I've been taken to the hospital more than once because of it.
When the bullies found out I was cutting it got worse. The bullies would egg me on. "Cut emo into your arm," they would say. I was called the same horrid names I had been called at the beginning but now there were new ones " emo, loner, outcast." Soon I had developed horrible depression. I began isolating myself from friends and family, and music became my only escape. I would cut in class and the teachers were always blind to it and any that new didn't care. Yes I was called names in class, but I also had some sentences said like "oh you liked it; admit it you screw him on the weekend." The worst part of the bullying for me was how my friends sat on the side lines and watched me go through this. Not once did they stand up and tell them off or help me. I guess maybe they were afraid? There also really weren't any tools available for them to help other than their voices which were silenced by their own bullies. I soon became bitter, mean, and hostile and often I still am; pushing people out and bitterness became my defensive mechanism.
Self-harm, depression, anxiety, and eating disorders followed me from Pioneer to high school. I'm 17 now and still struggling. I struggle to not self-harm, to eat and to just smile. Its a hard battle inside of you to fight every day, and It makes you mentally tired and physically done. I haven't forgiving the kids that called me those names nor have i forgiving the kid who sexually harassed me. I have four years of scars on my arms and legs, and I still cry myself to sleep every so often. I still battle depression, but I don't take the pills. I still have a thought of suicide here or there but i hide it from the world and suppress it. I try to block off the world so I don't trouble it anymore, and to this day I still have trust problems. I don't trust adults anymore, but I also don't trust many kids my age. This whole bully thing made my trust and safety questioned, and even still I am trying to quit self-harming. I find its easier to forget that you've done it, but forgetting isn't always enough. I still get this little sensation of the horrible urge to cut and whenever something bad happens there is a fight in side of me to ignore that urge.
I would have to say the hardest thing to live with now is all of the lies. I lied to my friends and family, and I lied to the school. I have become a master of controlling my emotions, and some may say I've become a stone cold person. I've had to live with a fake smile for four years and everyone has believed it.The worst part about that is that when I get home that I still have the barriers up from school because I no longer feel safe at school or at home. I may live in the middle of nowhere but I still have fear people may show up out here.
Being sexually harassed at 13 and was horrible. I would have panic attacks often, and sometimes I would even have them in my sleep. Being sexually harassed and physically and verbally bullied was the worst experience of my life. I not only cut, and became depressed, but I became suicidal. I tried to strangle myself a few times, and I tried to cut deep enough so I would bleed out. I even tried to OD on a few things, But none was successful. Even though my journey hasn't be an easy one, I'm glad none were successful. If I had succeeded I wouldn't be here to share this message and my friends would be struggling with out me.
Today I still have my struggles, but I stand before you a strong willed women. If they want to call me names and be mean I will not stand in silence. I am not the weak scared little girl they seen four years ago, but rather a strong young determined women. Over the years I have learned the best way to deal with your bully is to say "thank you how kind of you". Maybe they will say something again, but keep saying thank you! If you don't give them the satisfaction soon enough many lose interest. Don't let them get under your skin, and stay strong.
As you now know I had some very personal experiences with self harm, depression, anxiety/panic attacks and an eating disorders due to bullying. Bullying caused my friends and family the pain of watching me go through what I went through, and I don't want anyone else going through that! On October 1 2013 my friend Bre started a Facebook page page and I asked if I could join because I didn't want to see anymore young students go through what I went through. The page grew and we are now out to spread awareness of what could happen to others. It can be hard and ragged, and I learned this all too well. I would like to be a role model and/or hero to some of the younger folks; hopefully we at Stop The Madness Universal can make a difference in our community.No one should have to go through this, but it happens and even though it's hard it is possible to get through it. All three of us are proof you can get through it, but the difference is you don't have to do it alone.
~Lou Parks~
CWC Executive Director and Co-Founder of
Stop The Madness Universal
I remember walking down the halls of the school and having nasty names yelled at me. Every day this happened and every time I went home I wished I were dead. I wished that I never lived in rocky and that this never happened, but it did. It first started with me crying myself to sleep and waking up crying. It became almost a ritual for me to cry like that, but as time went on it grew away from crying into other things.
I was a peaceful girl all through grade 1 to grade 6. In grade 7 is where it all started to really change me. I became bitter, cold, negative and hostile. About three weeks into grade 7 I was flashed by a boy in my grade behind the school. The boy and his 3 friends then blackmailed for money; they wanted 20 bucks each or they would spread a rumor.The kid who flashed me got a three day In school suspension, but the kids that dared him to do it never did get any punishment. The other kids at school where wondering why the boy got an in school, and once they knew what happen it spread like wild fire. I didn't even need the blackmail for it all to begin; it started all by itself. The worst part of it was how blind the teachers were even after it spread and how they acted as though nothing had happened.
When I came in the next day after the boy had flashed me it was literally hell. Kids packed the hall wall and when they seen me coming they turned into nasty people; I got sexually harassed and instead of help I got called the worst of names. When you're going through the hallway you could hear the names. Could you live with being called degrading names every day? I couldn't, not every day... Everything really took a turn when I was too scared to tell people and started to self-harm. My first time was on a bus; I used a paperclip I had in my bag. From that paper clip I began to get addicted to the numbing feeling I got. It got bad and I would use whatever I could find, but soon those objects weren't giving me the numbing feeling I needed and I began using razor blades. I would take apart a razor and have five or six of them on. I'd have them in my pocket and when i needed to, I would go to the bathroom and cut. it's because of bullying that I know how it feels to have blood run down my arms, and I've been taken to the hospital more than once because of it.
When the bullies found out I was cutting it got worse. The bullies would egg me on. "Cut emo into your arm," they would say. I was called the same horrid names I had been called at the beginning but now there were new ones " emo, loner, outcast." Soon I had developed horrible depression. I began isolating myself from friends and family, and music became my only escape. I would cut in class and the teachers were always blind to it and any that new didn't care. Yes I was called names in class, but I also had some sentences said like "oh you liked it; admit it you screw him on the weekend." The worst part of the bullying for me was how my friends sat on the side lines and watched me go through this. Not once did they stand up and tell them off or help me. I guess maybe they were afraid? There also really weren't any tools available for them to help other than their voices which were silenced by their own bullies. I soon became bitter, mean, and hostile and often I still am; pushing people out and bitterness became my defensive mechanism.
Self-harm, depression, anxiety, and eating disorders followed me from Pioneer to high school. I'm 17 now and still struggling. I struggle to not self-harm, to eat and to just smile. Its a hard battle inside of you to fight every day, and It makes you mentally tired and physically done. I haven't forgiving the kids that called me those names nor have i forgiving the kid who sexually harassed me. I have four years of scars on my arms and legs, and I still cry myself to sleep every so often. I still battle depression, but I don't take the pills. I still have a thought of suicide here or there but i hide it from the world and suppress it. I try to block off the world so I don't trouble it anymore, and to this day I still have trust problems. I don't trust adults anymore, but I also don't trust many kids my age. This whole bully thing made my trust and safety questioned, and even still I am trying to quit self-harming. I find its easier to forget that you've done it, but forgetting isn't always enough. I still get this little sensation of the horrible urge to cut and whenever something bad happens there is a fight in side of me to ignore that urge.
I would have to say the hardest thing to live with now is all of the lies. I lied to my friends and family, and I lied to the school. I have become a master of controlling my emotions, and some may say I've become a stone cold person. I've had to live with a fake smile for four years and everyone has believed it.The worst part about that is that when I get home that I still have the barriers up from school because I no longer feel safe at school or at home. I may live in the middle of nowhere but I still have fear people may show up out here.
Being sexually harassed at 13 and was horrible. I would have panic attacks often, and sometimes I would even have them in my sleep. Being sexually harassed and physically and verbally bullied was the worst experience of my life. I not only cut, and became depressed, but I became suicidal. I tried to strangle myself a few times, and I tried to cut deep enough so I would bleed out. I even tried to OD on a few things, But none was successful. Even though my journey hasn't be an easy one, I'm glad none were successful. If I had succeeded I wouldn't be here to share this message and my friends would be struggling with out me.
Today I still have my struggles, but I stand before you a strong willed women. If they want to call me names and be mean I will not stand in silence. I am not the weak scared little girl they seen four years ago, but rather a strong young determined women. Over the years I have learned the best way to deal with your bully is to say "thank you how kind of you". Maybe they will say something again, but keep saying thank you! If you don't give them the satisfaction soon enough many lose interest. Don't let them get under your skin, and stay strong.
As you now know I had some very personal experiences with self harm, depression, anxiety/panic attacks and an eating disorders due to bullying. Bullying caused my friends and family the pain of watching me go through what I went through, and I don't want anyone else going through that! On October 1 2013 my friend Bre started a Facebook page page and I asked if I could join because I didn't want to see anymore young students go through what I went through. The page grew and we are now out to spread awareness of what could happen to others. It can be hard and ragged, and I learned this all too well. I would like to be a role model and/or hero to some of the younger folks; hopefully we at Stop The Madness Universal can make a difference in our community.No one should have to go through this, but it happens and even though it's hard it is possible to get through it. All three of us are proof you can get through it, but the difference is you don't have to do it alone.
~Lou Parks~
CWC Executive Director and Co-Founder of
Stop The Madness Universal