What is depression?
Depression is a whole body illness that affects a person's physical health as well as how he or she feels, thinks, and behaves towards others. In addition, a person who suffers from this disorder may have problems eating, sleeping, working, and getting along with his/her friends.
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How do you know if you're clinically depressed?
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People who have depression, or more formally, Major Depressive Disorder, experience at least five of the following symptoms, nearly every day, for a period of at least two weeks:
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Step NUMBER ONE
Know the facts
Step number two
Want to prevent them
How to help yourself
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How to help others1. Be there.
The best thing you can do for someone with depression is to be there. For someone struggling with my depression, the most healing moments can be when someone they love simply sits with them while they cry, or wordlessly hold their hand, or speak warmly to them with statements like ‘You’re so important to me.’ ‘Tell me what I can do to help you.’ ‘We’re going to find a way to help you to feel better.’ 2. Try a small gesture. If you’re uncomfortable with emotional expression, you can show support in other ways. This can be everything from sending a card or a text, to cooking a meal, to leaving a voicemail. 3. Don’t judge or criticize. What you say can have a powerful impact on your loved one. It’s best to avoid saying statements such as: “You just need to see things as half full, not half empty” or “I think this is really all just in your head. If you got up out of bed and moved around, you’d see things better.” These words imply that your loved one has a choice in how they feel – and has chosen, by free will, to be depressed. They’re not only insensitive but can isolate your loved one even more. 4. Avoid the tough-love approach. Many individuals think that being tough on their loved one will undo their depression or inspire positive behavioral changes. For instance, some people might intentionally be impatient with their loved one, push their boundaries, use silence, be callous or even give an ultimatum (e.g., “You better snap out of it or I’m going to leave”). Consider that this is as useless, hurtful and harmful as ignoring, pushing away or not helping someone who has cancer. |
5. Don’t minimize their pain.
Statements such as“You’re just too thin-skinned” or “Why do you let every little thing bother you?” shame a person with depression. It invalidates what they’re experiencing and completely glosses over the fact that they’re struggling with a difficult disorder – not some weakness or personality flaw. 6. Avoid offering advice. It probably seems natural to share advice with your loved one. Whenever someone we care about is having a tough time, we yearn to fix their heartache.While it may be true that the depressed person needs guidance, saying that will make them feel insulted or even more inadequate and detach further. What helps instead is to ask, “What can we do to help you feel better?” This gives your love one the opportunity to ask for help. When a person asks for help they are more inclined to be guided and take direction without feeling insulted. 7. Avoid making comparisons. Unless you’ve experienced a depressive episode yourself, saying that you know how a person with depression feels is not helpful. While your intention is probably to help your loved one feel less alone in their despair, this can cut short your conversation and minimize their experience. 8. Learn as much as you can about depression. You can avoid the above missteps and misunderstandings simply by educating yourself about depression. Once you can understand depression’s symptoms, course and consequences, you can better support your loved one.For instance, some people assume that if a person with depression has a good day, they’re cured. Depression is not a static illness. As she explained, an adult who’s feeling hopeless may still laugh at a joke, and a child who’s in despair may still attend class, get good grades and even seem cheerful.The truth is that depressive symptoms are lingering elsewhere, hidden or not easy to see, so it’s important to know that depression has a far and often imperceptible range. 9. Be patient. Patience is a pivotal part of supporting your loved one. When you’re patient with your loved one, you’re letting them know that it doesn’t matter how long this is going to take, or how involved the treatments are going to be, or the difficulties that accompany the passage from symptom onset to recovery, because you will be there. |